#25: The Man Who Saved Himself

My name is Barry Allen, and I’m the Fastest Man Alive.

But I wasn’t fast enough.

The heart monitor droned on at a single pitch, eerie amongst the room’s silence. His father’s blanched corpse stared blankly at the flickering bulb above. The others – Max, Gen, Chess, Dr. Elias, and the newcomer, Cisco Ramon – stared at the body. Barry…Barry couldn’t bear it more than a glance.

He couldn’t bear any of it anymore. Just standing by. Just accepting tragedy.

He ran – out of the lab, out of the building, mind clear, eyes clear, focused. The situation wasn’t hopeless, not with his powers. It never had been, but he’d been too scared to take advantage of it. He was a god, wasn’t he? Tragedy was just an option. He could save his father, and his mother.

He just had to go back.

Back to that horrible, life-changing day. Back to the day his mother died. Back to the day Eobard Thawne murdered her.

But first, he had to find the bastard. The man responsible for all the tragedies in Barry’s life. When he’d fought Savitar, their Speed Force energies magnified one another, opened a tear in reality, and sent him back in time to their first meeting. If he did the same with Thawne, then maybe, just maybe it would knock him back to that day.

Forget consequences, he told himself. Thawne had changed the timeline, and the universe hadn’t ended. He could do it, too. What happened to his friends, to Iris, to everyone else in his life…he had to trust he’d find them again. Whatever that new future would hold, they’d be a part of it.

But that wasn’t a guarantee. Anything could change. Anyone could change.

He could live with that. He’d have to live with that. It would be worth it for a life without tragedy. He just needed to focus on what was ahead. Thawne. His mom. He just had to run.

I am fast enough. I’ll be fast enough. I can save everyone!

…

Gehenna saw the corpse in the sand. Thomas’ corpse, his chest torn through with debris. She heard the explosive boom of tank-fire, and screamed. Someone—Dig?—was hugging her, holding her, trying to talk her down. She fell into his arms, shuddering, sobbing. Another brother-in-arms stood over Thomas, and tried to shock him back to life.

But he wasn’t holding a defibrillator. The shock came from him, silver-blue, like a bolt of lightning. That armor he wore wasn’t kevlar. There was no sand on the ground. She wasn’t in Afghanistan. She was in STAR Labs.

She was safe, she was safe, she was safe…

Max was trying to revive Henry Allen with his powers, and he was failing. Gehenna pulled free from Cisco, knocked Chess’ shivering form out of the way, and placed a gentle hand on Max’s shoulder.

Fighting her every instinct to panic, to scream, she said, “What’s wrong?”

Max was on the verge of tears, pupils dilated, frantic. “I can’t—I can’t—”

“What’s wrong with me?!?” Nobody had noticed Wally had woken until he spoke. He sat up on the edge of the table they had strewn him on, and his every cell was vibrating, sparking out with energy and setting off the electronics. He tried to propel himself to the ground with his hands, but ended up careening across the room right into Chess. They tumbled to the floor.

“Shit,” Gehenna said. “Max, get Wally under control. I’ll revive Henry.”

Running out of time, she didn’t bother to see if he followed her orders, and looked through their medical equipment. They had first aid kits in droves and basic medical gadgets like electrocardiograms, but no defibrillators.

As she continued to rummage through the tech, she yelled back, “Elias, Cisco, stanch his bleeding.”

“He’s dead,” Elias protested.

“JUST DO IT!!”

Thankfully, Cisco took the lead, and moved toward Henry the second Gehenna ordered him. They made quick work bandaging his open wound and pressuring it closed, though she knew that would only direct the bleeding to take place entirely internally. Even if she figured out a way to revive him, Max would still have to do the finishing touch of healing his body. At the moment, however, it seemed he was too freaked out to be of much use doing anything other than holding Wally down.

Her search wasn’t going well. No defibrillator, nothing she could use to shock him back, even briefly. She wanted to scream. To collapse. To die. This wouldn’t matter anyway. Henry’s heart was torn. He wouldn’t last more than a couple seconds. Gehenna’s mind shot with white.

Just like Afghanistan. I freeze when it counts, too slow to help anyone. I’m not the hero. I can’t save the day. I’m not a genius like Chester or Dr. Elias, nor do I have powers like Barry or Max.

But I have to do something.

She had one option left. Gehenna heaved up the rickety cold gun, yelled for everyone to move, and fired it at Henry. Elias and Cisco narrowly avoided the blast, which shrouded the corpse in a blue cold field, dousing his skin with ice. The cold would preserve him, give them a little more time. It wasn’t a permanent fix, or even a long one. Nonetheless, she held the trigger down, ignoring the voice screaming at the back of her head, and refused to let go.

“Max, I need you. This thing can’t make a proper cold field. I have to keep it running, but the generator will fail eventually.” The others stepped back at that, sans Max, who was looking at her wide-eyed. “You have to save him now.”

It was at that precise moment that Iris entered the lab…

…with a gun to her head.

Thaddeus shoved her inside, pistol cocked, finger over the trigger. He had a sick toothless grin planted over his lips. Bags wore down his eyes, and his skin sagged corpse-gray beneath it. He looked as if he’d survived a battlefield.

He looked like a man prepared to kill.

…

Thawne was nowhere to be found. Barry had scoured the Gem Cities twice each. The villain knew how to hide. Hell, he’d outmaneuvered Barry at every turn.

He could use Max to help rip open the timestream, but there was no guarantee he’d muster the proper energy given his mental state. They’d have to physically collide to make it work, and the consequences could be disastrous if it went wrong. It would be too big a risk.

The Savitar plan wasn’t an option.

Not as he’d done it before.

Barry didn’t need Thawne. He never had. He could do anything.

Barry just needed to pull on the Speed Force hard enough to drag himself into the timestream. He needed to build up enough power to tear open reality.

He could do anything.

So he ran.

He pushed himself harder than he ever had before, his cells vibrating, his feet slipping over pavement, grass, waves, air. The Gem Cities became a memory. Locales passed him by. His feet carried him forward, muscles aching, screams lost to the wind.

He ran. Metropolis to London to Hong Kong. He was speeding across the world. Light blurred and his surroundings disappeared. Across the world again. And again.

He ran. The rainbow streaks became a black void. Sounds faded to a single eerie tone. He was light made flesh.

But it wasn’t enough.

Nothing changed. He couldn’t feel the shockwave of his first trip through time. The Speed Force lingered in his cells, disconnected from the world around him.

He couldn’t just rush into things without thought, without a theory. The Speed Force was a science, like anything. It was the generator, the energy was the electrical current, and he was the light. When he traveled through time before, he’d disrupted the flow of energy through the generator by effectively forcing two currents to collide…which was impossible.

Flash Fact: Barry had literally majored in the impossible. He knew theoretical metaphysics like the back of his hand. He knew the answer.

You couldn’t tear a hole in space-time by running fast. You did it by making the Speed Force malfunction.

Barry tapped into the Speed Force, feeling the lightning fill his veins. He focused on it, on the warmth, the power, the brightness in his mind. He reached out – both literally and metaphysically –but the door was locked. He needed to manipulate it directly, but he couldn’t get inside. How the hell was he supposed to do it? How’d he done it before?

And the answer, as always, was simpler than he imagined.

He just had to feel it. He just had to feel…love.

He’d first touched the Speed Force as he faced off with Savitar during their first encounter. Max talked him through it. It was their friendship, their love that pushed Barry forward. When he returned from Savitar’s past, he’d tapped into memories of his father – he’d tapped into his love for his dad. And now…

Now he thought of his mom. Of how she’d take him to the comic book store after his visits with Dr. Newark. Of how she’d call him her little hero. Of how she’d smile.

He thought of how she loved, and he felt it, too.

The world opened before him in a flash of light and sound. He ran forward…

…and missed the building, hissing, crackling crimson storm cloud he left in his wake. At its core stood the gate he’d opened, a black hole into space-time.

From afar, Eobard Thawne had observed the ordeal, and when the storm erupted behind Barry, he stepped forward, grim.

“So it ends.”



SWOOSH! Barry popped through the wormhole and heard it close behind him. A few seconds later, and he was running through the suburbs of Central City. A second more, and he stopped outside a small, red brick house.

Home.

The shutters hung open, so he could look right inside. Barry had run a bit neurotic from day one, but his mom had an almost naïve sense of optimism. She wasn’t afraid of anyone spying on them, or breaking into the house, at least so long as they were inside it. Despite his father’s trauma, he picked up on much of the same habits. For a while. For…until…

A hint of brown hair and an easy smile shocked his mind silent. He fought back tears as his mother hurried into view, dragging a crippled boy behind her. He was late for school. God, some things never changed.

The sight of his crutches made him smile. It was an odd reaction, but in spite of everything past and present, he was reminded of how far he’d come. How blessed he was. Everything’ll change… he thought. I could be a cripple again after all this. My friends could be strangers. Iris could be a stranger, but my family…

And there was his father, kissing her goodbye. He was so much younger, skin smooth, golden-blond hair clear of the white streaks that would mark it in the years to come. And that smile, so care-free…He looked so happy. They all did.

A bolt burned hot inside Barry. You took this from us. About damn time I take it back.

When the front door creaked open, Barry sped to the park across the street, and hid under the bushes. He’d have to wait a while for Thawne to show up. No surprise, he still didn’t have a hang of time travel, and arrived sooner than he planned. But this was the day. He was certain of it.

As his father drove his younger self to school, Barry tried – and failed – to revert his yellow suit back to his original reds. He had no clue how Thawne changed it. That level of molecular manipulation seemed impossible to Barry. But I know better than anyone that nothing is impossible. Nothing…

His eyes flickered up, and he dry swallowed in shock. His mother was staring through the window right at him.

And in that moment, his patience shattered.

Barry felt his heart break all over again. Her blue eyes met his across some-fifty yards. She found him. She could always find him.

He got up and ran, vibrated through the front door to the entryway where she met him. Immediately, he removed his cowl to keep from scaring her, but to his surprise she didn’t even scream. Her hands quivered and her eyes darkened with fear, but she didn’t run away.

“Please don’t scream. I’m not gonna hurt you, I—This is gonna sound crazy, but it’s…”

“You look just like my son,” she interrupted. When he let his hands fall and his features soften, she extended a hand to him. “Barry…?”

He fell into his mother’s arms and cried. “It’s me, mom. I swear it’s me.”

For a moment, she did not return his embrace. Then came her hands, gentle against him, as she stroked his hair. Her shushing came soft as whispers, soothing, “I know my son. It’s okay, baby. It’s okay…”

For the first time in twelve years, Barry knew a mother’s love.

…

The van rocked as it crossed back onto the asphalt road, further into the Central City boonies. Len thought the whole trek was infuriating. He’d already hit his head twice against the ceiling. Nobody could talk without sounding like they were speaking through a fan. It was ridiculous. The DEO had helicopters and jets and teleporters for all he knew. Why the hell were they driving to Iron Heights?

Truth be told, he got it. He knew what this was – part of the punishment. A boring, tense, painful car ride to prison. Mick tried to speak up, and got gagged. Chinese Tyrion Lannister and Betty White-As-Chalk didn’t want a hear a word from them, not after they went rogue. The DEO didn’t play nice. Freakin’ feds never did. Len was half confident they’d get waterboarded upon arrival.

He’d talk his way out. Done it before, would do it again. All it’d take was an opportunity—

“You gotta be fuckin kidding me,” he muttered.

The agents followed his gaze back to the city, to the red storm spinning to life at its heart.

“Agent Samson, Agent Kim, do you cop—“

The voice on the other end of the line crackled out as their radios fried. The headlights flickered and the distant explosions of generators echoed over the open fields. Half the city went dark.

“Turn around. Give us a second chance,” Len didn’t waste a moment.

“You got your second chance and you blew it,” Agent Kim retorted.

“My cold gun, it can shut that thing down. It’s gonna need some mods on the fly, but—”

“We’ll handle it,” Samson said.

“I built the damn thing, one of a kind. I’m the only one who knows how it works,” Len insisted. “One more shot. That’s all I’m asking for…” He was surprised by the tone in his voice. Dammit, Len was pleading. Lisa wanted me to be a hero…

The agents exchanged a look. Kim took charge. “We’ll keep Mick and James as insurance. You try to run—”

“Bullet in the brain. I know how deep state works,” Len said, “I need James.” He cleared his throat. “I need a distraction. A smart one.”

“I’m sorry – what?” James blurted.

Mick grunted in protest. James blanched. Len felt a twinge of remorse.

Mm, that was a lie.

You’re shit at lying to yourself, Snart. Too self-aware by half. “I need him, full stop,” he added.

Another look shared. The agents seemed to hate themselves for it, but they shrugged in unison, then said: “Turn around.”

…

“Turn around,” his mom said. “Barry, please…”

He couldn’t do it. Couldn’t face her, couldn’t look into those blue eyes, so much like his own, for fear of what he’d say. The truth he’d speak. When he’d finished crying, a chill froze his heart and sent ice through his veins. They’d moved to the living room, where they stood now, locked in a still dance.

“Bartholomew Henry Allen,” her voice came stern, scolding, “You look at me this instant.”

With a heavy heart, he did what she asked, and tears flooded his eyes again. Her features had already softened, and she took his hand to squeeze it. The confession lingered on his tongue.

So she spoke, light-hearted, “Will it break the space-time continuum if I ask you whether or not Lost ends okay?”

And just like that, he was laughing. His pain remained, but made room for pleasure. His mom smiled back at him, and they both sat down in chairs across from one another.

“That bad, huh?” she said.

Through his heartbreak, he tried to say it, “Mom, I came here because—”

“So you’re a superhero?” She leaned forward. “With powers and everything, like out of a comic book?”

He sighed. “Just like that, yeah. And not just any comic book.” As a child, he’d made a habit of leaving reading materials around the house. Just so, he picked up a copy of Flash Comics strewn on the floor.

“The Flash?” she giggled. “That’s…pretty cool.”

“Used the name and everything.”

“No shit. Have you been sued for it?”

He brushed the comment off. “Listen, mom, I need to tell you something.”

“You are,” she insisted, “You’re telling me all about your high-flying life as a superhero. So you can time travel? What are the rules for that?”

“I don’t know.”

“But you came anyway? You sure you’re my son? The Barry I know would do research, hypothesize, and make it a whole damn scientific thing before he—”

“That’s not—I came to change time, anyway, so—”

“What’s the point? You’ve got it good. Oh no, superheroing—superheroics?—doesn’t pay, does it?”

“It doesn’t, but—mom, please—”

“I have to say I’m impressed. You’ve gotten very fit, sweetheart—”

“Mom—”

“Speaking of, do you have a sweethea—”

“You’re going to die!”

Silence. Barry swallowed back tears. His mom shifted in her seat.

“Everybody dies, Barry,” she said calmly.

“You’re going to die today. A man named Eobard Thawne is going to kill you.”

She nodded. “I figured as much. I…hypothesized the moment you hugged me.”

“But it’s not going to happen this time,” Barry insisted, leaning forward. “I’ll protect you. I’ll stop him.”

“And change everything, right?” To that, he could but glumly shrug. She pressed on, “Or worse. You don’t know what will happen if you save me. Just being here is a huge risk—”

“For you, it’s worth it,” Barry argued.

“Even if you break everything? Barry, you were the sweetest child I’ve ever known. You never stole other kids’ toys, you never broke them.”

“I’m not being selfish! I’m…” He couldn’t finish the thought. He didn’t know what to say, because he was being selfish. This was about his family. This was about him. “Time won’t break. The universe will be fine. I don’t know how it works, but I know it’s survived the butterfly effect before.”

“I love Bradbury,” she blurted, soft-spoken. When he eyed her with obvious confusion, she clarified, “His short story, ‘The Sound of Thunder,’ it deals with exactly what you’re talking about, the butterfly effect.”

“You read sci-fi?” Barry mumbled, heart swelling. He hadn’t remembered, never known…

“I love sci-fi. Where d’you think you get it from?” his mom said. “And I’m telling you, Barry, one nerd to another…you need to go home.”

“But—”

“Have you had a good life?”

Barry choked on his response. He hadn’t expected that, hadn’t…

“I have,” he managed, nodding.

“Then what’s keeping you from being happy?” she asked. “Do you feel like you need to be medicated, to see a therapist, or…? You were dealt a tough hand, Barry, but I’ve never known you to mull on it. You taught me to live for the moment.”

He protested, “I was a kid. I didn’t…” Didn’t what? Express myself? Sure, I did.

He hadn’t been a sad kid. Bullies got to him, sure, and he often wished he could run with the other children. Still, he had kind parents, plenty of friends, and excelled at school. He’d been happy overall.

But after his mom died, he started to hang onto the rainy days, to focus more on what went wrong than what went right. He started to live inside his tragedies.

Mom squeezed his knee. “Life is struggle. Tragedy is inevitable no matter what you do, but it doesn’t have to define your life. What you leave behind, your legacy, that’s what should define it. That’s what will define it, long after you’re gone. That’s what matters.”

Barry looked up into his mother’s eyes, and saw his own reflection there, smiling back at him.

“And Barry, if you’re saying my legacy is a superhero,” she chuckled, beaming, “Then my life was a triumph.”

He broke into tears, but this time much of the cold was gone. In its place sparked a warmth, a bolt of lightning hotter than the sun.

“Live, Barry—live.”

So he hugged his mother again, tight. Tight as he could, because he knew that soon he would have to let go. Every second they had together was precious, and, as lightning danced through his veins, every second was an eternity.

“I love you, mom.”

“I love you, too, my darling Flash.”

Barry pulled away, regretting every moment, and then let those regrets wash away. He found his mother, too, was crying.

But for all the pain, they both were smiling under their gleaming, sky-blue eyes.

…

Thaddeus’ fever-grin flicked into a deep-set frown. “This isn’t right. Barry’s supposed to be here. Where is he?”

He spied a flicker of azure light as Max Mercury tensed, no doubt about to save the day. That wouldn’t do. Thaddeus tugged Iris back by her hair, making her yelp, and pressed the pistol against her head.

“Nice try, Mercury, but you’re not the droid I’m looking for,” Thaddeus spat, “Move and she dies.”

“Max! Get him!! You’re faster than a speeding bullet!” Chester urged, pale-faced.

But Max didn’t move. He couldn’t, not without letting go of Wally. The babbling idiot was vibrating, panicked, on the floor, his skin sparking with a yellow sheen. The hostage situation had only exacerbated his terror. Good. Perhaps in most scenarios Max would try the odds and outrun a gunshot, but that wasn’t a risk he could take at the moment.

Gehenna Hewitt was likely the one person here who could save Iris by freezing the bullet in mid-air with her cold gun. However, to do that she’d have to let Henry rot away.

Thaddeus swallowed the numb angst that overtook him as his eyes traced over the body. He tried to force a smile, sweat beading into his mouth. I’ve done a number on them, haven’t I? First Nora, and now Henry… I’ve been busy.

Iris West-Allen, ahem, West, the hostage herself, took the liberty of speaking first. “Thaddeus, I don’t know what Thawne told you, but you’re one of us. You don’t have to—”

His rage frenzied forth with a splash of slobber, “LIAR!!” Slick with sweat, his finger tightened over the trigger. “My name is Eobard Thaddeus Thawne, you understand? I am, have been, and will be your villain—and I WANT THE FLASH!!”

And he got him, in a manner of speaking.

Thaddeus saw white, pain spiked through his already aching head, and he lost hold of the gun. It went off, ricocheting into the heart monitor. As he crashed to the floor, reality struck.

He’d been thrown to the ground by none other than Wally West, who, in the process, had sent himself careening into the other lab. Wally had accelerated faster than Thaddeus thought possible, faster than a rookie speedster should be able to, faster than he could react. And worse…

The sidekick-to-be’s first act as a speedster was to save a life. How predictable.

Thaddeus fumed, and dove for the pistol. Iris did the same. Wally tackled him back down, and the two grappled as Iris stood up with the gun in hand.

“Wally, move!” she shouted.

The bastard rolled off Thaddeus, and stumbled at super speed into a wall. The young villain rose, hands up, as Iris looked down the muzzle at him. Her hands were shaking.

“Max, save Henry,” Iris continued, “I’ll take care of…” The name ached out of her, “Thawne.”

The older speedster nodded, and got up beside Gehenna. Thaddeus took everything in stride, fevered mind racing.

“Iris,” Wally panted, “Put down the gun. We got him dead to rights.”

“Poor choice of words,” Chess mumbled.

“No, Iris, you’re doing just fine.” Thaddeus couldn’t believe what he was saying, couldn’t stop, “This is the only way our futures change. You can save Nora Allen. You can save Henry, too.”

“This isn’t just unethical,” Cisco Ramon interjected, “If he’s really Thawne and if you kill him now, everything will change. The whole timeline’ll go kablooey with paradoxes. Who knows what’ll happen? You could break the space-time continuum.”

“Doubt that,” Thaddeus retorted. “I’m here, and things haven’t gotten too wacky.”

“Iris,” Wally begged.

“I say you do it,” Gehenna blurted. “Then we won’t have to worry about Henry.”

“Everything will change,” Cisco repeated.

Iris’ gaze never strayed from Thaddeus. She didn’t even blink as she cocked the pistol. He felt a smile come on even as a wash of terror accompanied his racing heart. He’d never been more afraid, not even when he faced down his father.

He hadn’t felt such hope in years.

“Everything will change,” Thaddeus agreed. With the cock of his head, he added the killer…

“And you’ll be a hero.”

…

My name is Barry Allen, thought Eobard Thawne, And I am the Fastest Man Alive. I am the Flash!

He ran, and saved civilian after civilian from the evergrowing speed storm. They cried out his name, his new name, and though a part of him panged for his lost identity, he reveled in what he’d always deserved. He had become the hero. For all his suffering, Eobard Thawne would only ever be the villain.

With the nearest innocents out of danger, he circled the tempest at super speed, mulling over a plan. With the Speed Force now at his disposal, he could absorb the energy, but that wouldn’t shut the singularity. That would require a considerable tachyonal discharge. Such great power was an impossibility.

Luckily, the impossible had become his responsibility.

“Through the wind and rain…” he mumbled.

He skimmed the edge of the storm, only to stumble away screaming. Heat surged through his skin, and lightning erupted from his pores. A vision of endless imagery—the Speed Force itself—danced before his eyes. It was too much. He threw away a bolt of the energy, striking a car and thus causing it to explode.

He’d barely touched it, and the storm had overwhelmed him. He couldn’t do it, couldn’t…

No. No, he was the hero now. He could do anything he set his mind to.

“Looks like that hurt,” came a newcomer. Leonard Snart exited a van flanked by James Jesse and a squad of a half dozen DEO agents. “Where’re those pearly whites, Flash? I’m from the government, and I’m here to help.”

Before Eobard could call them off, a large black man stepped forward and flashed his badge. “Agent Diggle, DEO. Snart and Jesse are with us. What can we do to help?”

“I told you what we can do,” Snart began, “My freakin’ cold generator will—”

“Leave,” Eobard growled, as the storm continued to grow. “This is my city.” My chance to save the day.

“Respectfully, it doesn’t look like you can contain that thing alone,” Jesse interjected.

“Respectfully,” Eobard sneered. “I’m the Fastest Man Alive. I don’t need sidekicks.”

Snart frowned at that, quick-drew, and fired off a cold round. Eobard barely managed to duck out of the way in time. The blast struck the speed storm, causing an explosion, and briefly slowed its growth. Eobard ignored it, racing around to the agents.

“Thaaaattt’sss,” Snart droned, a snail’s pace to his ears.

Eobard decked Diggle and kept running.

“Nooottttt—”

The next two agents fell against his might.

“Fflllaaaassshhh!”

He vibrated his hand and lunged toward Snart.

But struck another body. James Jesse had leaped in front of his fellow Rogue, and took the hand to his shoulder. Before Eobard could react, Snart threw up a cold field. He was stuck moving nearly at normal speed.

“Just like you asked, Snart,” Jesse grunted, collapsing, “Make it count.”

With cool rage in his ice blue eyes, Snart wasted but a second’s glare at Eobard before his fingers tracked over his gun. A click sounded, and he dropped it. Eobard roared, and prepared to charge him. However, before he could, another gun went off. A bullet pierced his arm. Diggle. Cursing, Eobard dived out of the cold field and the line of fire. When he looked up again, he found Snart had already tossed a small, blue device through the air. The cold generator. Why…?

NO!

Eobard moved at super speed, arms outstretched to catch the generator, the bomb, as it neared the storm. But he wasn’t fast enough.

The second it struck the crimson cloud, the cold generator exploded. The subsequent blast consumed Eobard and sent him flying. He crashed into a car, back shattering, his suit in shreds. The remnants of his facenet melted against his skin, his true visage revealed. Eobard howled, speeding up time. He’d lost. He…

The storm roared, ever larger. Snart had failed.

He could still be the hero.

“But first…”

Eobard spat out blood, bones mending. The cuts along his fingers closed, as his fingers closed around the ring in his pocket. He removed it, replacing the original with this one, gold-on-red. With some pressure, it popped, and in a whirlwind he changed into his proper suit. Yellow spandex clung to his charred skin. Encircled by black, a bolt of lightning the color of blood glimmered darkly against the storm’s light.

The Reverse Flash stepped forward, and raised his hand. It began to vibrate.

“…I must do a villain’s work.”

…

Barry looked, once again, like a hero. As he thought of that final embrace, empowered by love, he felt the Speed Force more deeply and truly than ever, and found that he could rearrange the molecules of his suit into their proper shining red and gold hues.

And for the first time, Barry wished he could move slower. He wished the world would speed up around him, and he’d blink, and it would be over. Instead, he had to wait to watch his mother die.

He sat under an elm tree across the street, the shade and breeze cooling his skin. He shivered. A feeling so similar to when he vibrated, yet so much more unpleasant. Where there could have been warmth and power was a pervading sense of cold and impotence. He had to stop himself time and again from speeding into the house and forcing her out. He had to think of what awaited him, of the risks of changing the timeline too greatly. He had to be better than Thawne.

The villain arrived at five till three. Crimson light caught Barry’s attention, then Thawne was standing before the front door in a yellow spandex suit, the same one he’d forced upon Barry. He held his arms out, basking in the moment. Barry felt blood thunder to his cheeks; he wanted nothing more than to beat Thawne senseless, to kill him.

But he waited.

Thawne vibrated, changing his molecular density so he could pass through the door. Barry’s heart raced. A leaf blew past, slowly. He watched it go, focused on it, forcing himself to think only of it. The leaf danced in the breeze at a snail’s pace, slower still. Barry felt like he was about to faint. Lightning the color of blood flooded the windows. There was a wetness on his cheeks.

He waited.

Eventually, Thawne left. Barry couldn’t be sure how long it took. He didn’t care. The instant the villain was out of sight, he sped back inside.

His mom was laying on the kitchen floor exactly where he remembered. She looked up at him with glassy, teary eyes. He was sobbing, breathless, on the ground before he knew it, holding her hand.

She pulled away from him. For a moment, he thought she was dead, but her blue eyes lit up with concern. In her final moments, she was worried about him.

“I’m sorry I won’t be there for you,” she said.

Barry shook his head, stroking her hair. “You did the best you could, and it was more than enough. I promise I’m going to do the same.”

She smiled at that, just a twitch of her lips. Then, with a wheezing breath, “Is there a girl?”

Without thinking, he nodded. “Iris.” Though he blushed, the words felt right leaving him.

“Iris West?”

“The one and only.”

Her smile grew. “You really punched above your weight.”

A brief, broken laugh escaped his lips. Before he knew it, he was sobbing again, into her shirt, the blood darkening his suit. He wanted to thank her again for everything. He wanted to tell her all about his life. He wanted to promise her that dad would be okay, but he choked on the words, tears freefalling down onto her chest.

As if she knew, as if she understood, his mother’s hand traced across his cheek…

Then went still.

…

“Kill me,” Thaddeus goaded, arms out, “Save,” his voice distorted, blended with two more, so familiar, so distant. The cops finished, “your husband. Save him, Iris. Kill Thawne.”

They were crying, the police officers. Their tears fell and merged with the rain, as the crimson storm hovered above, its roar the sound of a dying man’s screams, its winds his death throes.

“Your husband is dead,” they said. “Save him before he’s dead.”

“Kill me,” the other voice droned.

Iris’ hands began to tremble so violently that she nearly fired the pistol by accident. She could do this. She could save…who…who was she trying to save?

A blood-red cyclone lowered to the pavement and tore the men asunder. In their place stood a black silhouette caught in the heart of the torrent. No, not a silhouette. A demon in the guise of the Flash, his suit the color of the night sky. The color of death.

“Your husband is dead,” it rasped.

Husband…Barry, Iris remembered, The man I love.

She could save Barry. She could kill his Death. She just had to pull the trigger.

Her father’s heavy, heartfelt voice whispered into her ear, “It takes a toll, Iris. Every time I make that call, every time I take someone’s life, a part of me dies, too.”

“The twins deserve a father,” Iris argued.

“And they’ll have one,” Barry said. “We’ll have a future.”

“Not forever.”

Barry’s voice was gentle in her ear. He was always so gentle. “Nothing lasts forever. That’s what makes it all so precious. The good and the bad. The hard days and the nights that can’t last long enough.”

“Mom taught you that,” Daniel said, “She taught both of us that.”

“I love you, Iris,” Barry said. “You’re my hero: past, present, and future.”

She lowered the gun.

The storm cleared around her as she fell to her knees, sobbing. The voices disappeared, replaced by others, more concrete, more painful to her ears…

“Victim,” Thawne spat. “Always the—”

In a flash, Wally decked him – lights out.

“Talk to the hand, asshole.”

…

Thawne’s hand was vibrating as it neared Snart’s chest. In less than a second in real time, he’d kill him. Less than a second…

It seemed so slow to Barry, as he ran through the wormhole and the storm past it. By his perception, a second could last an eternity. And Thawne…Thawne had to revel in his evil. He had to watch the fear in Snart’s eyes. He wanted Snart to see it coming.

In less than a millisecond, Barry knocked Thawne to the ground.

Untouched, Snart mumbled, “You’re late.”

“My bad,” Barry replied. Indicating the ever-growing storm, he said, “Sorry for all of it. I’ve made a few mistakes, but I’ll fix ‘em.”

Thawne rose to his feet, shaking, not from power, but fear. He saw what Barry felt—the lightning coursing through him. A truer, deeper connection to the Speed Force than he’d ever known: the will to move forward one step at a time.

“You’re going to die,” Thawne quivered. Then, with sudden rage, “MY NAME IS BARRY ALLEN—”

In no time, Barry moved over to him, eyes bright with electric tears. Thawne fell silent. The one, true Flash swallowed his rage.

“Run,” he said.

…

“Give me control,” Savitar urged Max, again and again. The same message on repeat since before Thawne’s arrival. The same message he’d heard throughout Oklahoma. “I can save everyone.”

Max wasn’t a hero. He struggled to get along with people, even friends and family members. In many ways, he considered himself above most people, who were caught in their vapid quests for fame and fortune, ignorant at best, and idiotic at worst. He didn’t have Barry’s instincts to help and connect. He wanted to lash out, or hide away – to go fight or flight.

But he knew Savitar was no better. He quickly recognized the very same traits in the self-styled god, and though Savitar had mellowed recently, he was still the same warlord at heart.

“I can’t,” he thought aloud.

“Yes, you can,” Gehenna urged, misunderstanding, “You have to. The battery’s running low. It’s now or never.”

But he couldn’t save Jamie. He couldn’t focus in the chaos, even with Thawne contained. He just…couldn’t.

“We are omnipotent. We can do anything, but you’re too afraid of failing to try. So let me have control,” Savitar demanded. “Or do you still trust me so little?”

No, he trusted Savitar, at least to share his body. But he didn’t trust him to heal, to do more than make Henry yet another undead slave.

“That’s the best we can do. It’s…unfortunate, but anti-life is still life of a sort.”’

“We’re not Barry,” Max agreed, “We can’t do the impossible.”

“Let me try,” Wally said, rising to the occasion, “Maybe I can work some magic.”

“Shown up by a child. Pathetic.” And Max had to agree.

“You sure? Your powers are still unstable,” Gehenna warned the kid, but he didn’t seem concerned.

“Give him a shot,” Iris interjected, leaning against the wall. She looked like she was in need of medical attention herself, about to collapse.

In fact, that’s exactly what happened. Iris’ legs went out from under her. When Wally turned to offer her a smile, he instead had to run to her aid. He caught her, but couldn’t hold her weight. They both fell.

And it was at that most inopportune moment the cold gun died. It whined, and coughed out its last stream. Gehenna cursed. Chess screamed.

Max’s heart raced. Everything slowed around him. He thought to look to Wally, to encourage the young speedster to rise to the occasion. Instead, his eyes drifted toward the corner of the room, toward another prone body: his brother’s corpse.

“His body was cold. From the first time I felt his touch, when he was still under your control, when he kidnapped me…he was so cold. God, that feels like ages ago,” Max muttered.

“He was cold when we revived him. He’d been dead for hours,” Savitar explained. “The Lightning was all that brought him warmth, and even then...”

“And now Henry…” Max reached out to touch him. Indeed, his skin was ice cold, and sent a chill through their spine.

“Barry Allen will never forgive you if you let his father rot.”

“No.” Max shook his head. “No, you’re wrong. Barry’s a better man than that. He’d move on.” His hope, his faith in a better tomorrow had helped Max move on, had helped him let his brother go.

“Gehenna Hewitt will consider you weak. She already does.”

“You know that’s not true. She deals with her own demons, so she knows the strength it takes to put up with them. To survive.” Gehenna was the strongest person he knew. Her mind sought to cripple her at every turn, and yet she always acted when needed, always pushed on.

“And Chester Runk? He looks up to you. Do you think you will still be his hero when this is all over?”

“Now you’re not even trying,” Max said, shaking his head. “The instant Barry put on that suit, I became, at best, a sidekick in Chester’s mind.” For real, the kid found joy and awe in everything, always on the cusp of a new cool discovery, enjoying wherever life took him. Max could never resent that.

“So you have given up. Just as you gave up on your brother,” Savitar spoke with spite, and for the first time, his insult hurt, like a wound through Max’s heart.

His fear burned away, and rage overtook him. “I never gave up on Jamie. I just stopped doing things your way!” Lightning crackled over his skin, hot. “I did what I’ve always done – I walked my own path!”

“There is no path greater than a god’s!” Savitar roared. “No power more noble, no fury more righteous!!”

“ENOUGH!!” Azure energy encircled his body, and burned him. Pain sent them to their knees, and forced a violent scream from their throats.

“You fool!” Savitar recoiled against the pain. “Your weakness is damaging our connection to the Speed Force!!”

“No,” Max said, shivering, feverish. “It’s us, our connection, our relationship. Our fear and resentment of one another is ripping us apart at the seams.”

“A god does not fear an ant.”

“But you fear death,” Max said. “You fear being powerless. We can’t save everyone.”

“LIES!!”

“But maybe we can still save Henry.” The words slipped out, half-confident. “It’s not impossible. His body hasn’t decomposed. It’ll take a lot, but…”

“You’re incapable of it.”

Max nodded. “The power isn’t mine. I’m still unfamiliar with it, and I’m not sure it’ll ever really belong to me.” He forced himself up, one leg at a time, his muscles aching, burning against Savitar’s resistance. “But this body isn’t yours either. You inhabit it, but it’ll never belong to you. You’ll always be my Wendigo.”

“I’m no monster,” Savitar argued, though Max could feel him weakening.

“No, you’re not. We’re two spirits in one body with one power. We can’t dominate one another, not totally. We’ll never be rid of the other.” Savitar remained silent, listening. “We can’t do things my way, or yours.”

“You believe we can save lives, and I believe we can do it our own way. It’s not unbreakable hope or infallible strength or ever-present wonder that powers us. It’s inner-peace. Look at what happened to us when doubt took over. I became a coward. You lost to a rookie speedster.”

“Our power’s knowing that we’ve got a god-sized ego and accepting it. It’s appreciating our biting sense of humor, which is objectively the best kind.” Savitar snorted in agreement. “It’s being okay with being a little cynical, and mean-spirited, and imperfect. It’s knowing we can always get better. It’s self-love, and whether we like it or not, we’re part of the same self now.”

The heaviest silence Max had ever heard swallowed the room, and then, “Reach out. Take my hand.”

As a gentle warmth spread through him, like a hearthfire in winter, Max’s fingers slipped through Henry’s.

“A god can perform miracles.”

“Whatever you say, man,” Max retorted.

The heat arced from their hand to Henry’s in a bolt of blue, and they tugged on a mighty weight in their mind’s eye. The weight resisted, frightened. A black shadow in the shape of a man whispered cool threats into the weight’s ear, but they would not be denied. Max and Savitar, in one motion, pulled.

Lightning crashed through the window, and struck Henry. He gasped back to life.

Time slowed.

“I’m sorry I’m sorry I don’tknowwhybutIcan’tturnmypowersbackon…” Wally trailed off, eyes widening as Henry jerked upright.

Max-Savitar turned to Wally, and in one voice they said, “Don’t worry about it, kid. We handled it.”

…

It was a race unlike any the Gem Cities had seen. It was a race all too familiar. It was a beginning and it was the end.

The Flash vs. the Reverse Flash.

At the speeds they moved, it could have been something epic, a journey across the world. However, for reasons they knew, but could never quite explain, it was an intimate affair. Faster than the blink of an eye, trapped between twin cities, these speedsters fought.

For the first time since his mother’s death, Eobard Thawne knew deep, unbridled terror. For the first time since his mother’s death, Barry Allen felt only steadfast hope. The lightning coursed through their veins.

Red crossed yellow crossed red crossed yellow. Electric sweat and blood set fire to the Missouri River, then was quenched. A tornado threatened to come alive and destroy the cities, before Barry Allen destroyed it. He was winning, and Eobard Thawne knew it.

So the villain ran into the Speed Storm. So the hero made chase.

The relentless energy poured into Eobard Thawne, and began to kill him. When Barry Allen saw what was happening, he tried to warn the villain off. Nevertheless, Eobard persisted, uttering a single phrase over and over again: “I will be the hero!”

The storm died inside Eobard, but he could not contain the Force within his being. Barry Allen knew he would take the city with him, so he took hold of the villain’s arms, ignoring the burns he suffered, and dragged him into the wormhole. It shut behind them.

Lives passed them by as they ran. Barry let go, but Eobard could not.

Eobard Thawne sought out his lightning rod, his most hated enemy, and ran away. Barry Allen reached out to his lightning rod, the love of his life, and ran home.

For a brief moment, before he left the Speed Force, Barry saw an image – the Flash burning away, skin melting to bones to empty air. He saw a black shadow in his shape ahead of him. Dread struck his core, but Barry remembered what his mother had said.

He ran forward. Always.

…

The timestream flickered past Eobard in a blur of images – propelled forward by the Speed Force. His cells felt aflame, more exploding with every step. Through sheer force of will he kept running. He couldn’t slow down, couldn’t stop, or his every molecule would blow at once. This is Barry’s fault. It’s all Barry’s fault! If he was going to die, then he’d take the bastard with him. They’d go out together, like star-crossed lovers, hero and villain, Flash and his Reverse.

Strings seemed to tug on Eobard from all directions. They were pulling him to the source, he knew, to Barry at different points in time. He truly anchored everything, even a whole dimension. Perfect Barry with his perfect existence…

NO MORE!

Eobard stepped out at random through a slit in space-time. Downtown Central City colored his sight as the flesh began to melt from his bones. He could feel a single strand drawing him forward through the pain.

Look at me now, dad. I’m no victim.

The strand went slack. A blur of crimson and gold sped toward him. Black shadow in the shape of a man nipped at its heels.

I am death incarnate.

At long last, Eobard let go.

…

Barry returned from the Speed Force to STAR Labs, and the touching sight that awaited him made him forget his burns. Still as a picture, Team Flash laughed and smiled, as the news proclaimed the Rogues beaten. Iris was in the midst of an embrace – with his father, healed, as if by a miracle.

His heart sailed.

Max was the only one who noticed him. The only one who could notice him, he supposed. His friend nodded at him, grinning. To Barry’s surprise, Wally’s eyes flickered toward him, a spark shining bright in his pupils.

And Thaddeus…Thaddeus was tied in the corner, unconscious. There were questions he needed answered. Mysteries yet unsolved. For now, as much as it pained him, they would all have to wait.

Barry ran back to the source of the Speed Force Storm. As he expected, it had disappeared. Contrary to his expectations, Leonard Snart had not.

Snart kneeled in the dirt, holding James Jesse’s unmoving body even as sirens wailed ever closer, and copters roared overhead, shining spotlights down on them. Suited agents recovered around the battlefield, just coming to.

“I know someone who can heal him,” Barry said.

When Len looked up, he had tears in his eyes. “I can’t lose another.”

Barry nodded. He understood that more than most. Gently, he took Jesse from Snart, and lifted him up. He almost flinched when the Rogue patted him on the back.

“Hope to see you around, Allen,” he said.

Barry paused for a moment, processing, then smiled. “You know where I live.”

To that, Snart laughed. That’s how Barry left him, laughing, pained, as the agents approached, guns at the ready, cuffs in hand.

…

Henry fidgeted, anxious, as Barry set the injured DEO agent down next to Max. God, his son hadn’t even looked at him. Was he still mad? Henry sure as hell was, but not at him. That lying, traitorous, psycho-bastard of a boy was smirking, even in his sleep. He was supposed to be their family, their blood, but tried to kill them. He was going to kill Nora. Thaddeus—Eobard, he corrected himself—he was just…

Hurt…scared, Henry bemoaned, heart sinking. He was just a kid. A lonely kid who got stuck on the wrong path. A kid like me.

“Can you heal him?” Barry asked, pulling his cowl back.

“What do I look like, the second coming?” His friend snorted, and punched his arm. “Yeah, I got it.”

Sure you do. Henry rubbed his aching chest. The son of a gun said he’d healed him top-to-bottom. All he’d done was save his life. “All he’s done?” Jesus, man. Feel a little gratitude. But he did, deeply, truly. It was an unsettling feeling. Henry hated being in debt.

When Barry finally turned to him, he opened his mouth to say something, anything, but he was at a loss. Then the boy hugged him. The man. The damned superhero.

His son.

Tears fought their way out, and fled down his cheeks. Henry broke down in Barry’s arms. Dammit, he hated crying, too.

“We’re gonna be okay.” Barry was sobbing as well, unashamed. “I promise you, we’re gonna be okay.”

Henry laughed, pained. “I’m your damn father. I should be reassuring you…”

“Easy there, citizen,” Barry managed to chuckle out, “I’m the superhero.”

The superhero. His son.

All he had left.

“I’m so sorry,” Henry said, “For the kid, for yelling at you, for—for everything—”

“For raising me alone? For making me the man I am today?” Barry said. “You did the best you could, and it was more than enough.”

Henry’s heart broke as he said, “Your mom…your mom would be so…”

“I know…I know…” Barry squeezed him tight, as if he was afraid to let go, but he pulled back. He smiled, teary-eyed, and said, “I love you, dad.”

“I love you, too, superhero.”

…

The sight of Barry reuniting with his father filled Iris’ heart with joy and melancholy. Wally watched the whole affair with a grim frown. As the two men recounted what had happened, she took the boy’s hand and escorted him out of the room.

“We should go see Daniel and Pop-Pop. They’ve been worried sick about you,” she said.

Wally shrugged. “Sure.”

So that wasn’t going to do it. Okay. Time to try something else.

Iris stopped and flicked his chin up. “Alright, kid, we gotta talk about that frown. If you’re gonna be a superhero, you’re gonna have to learn to flip that thing upside down, see the positive side of everything.” Like how your life and the lives of everyone you love are constantly in danger. Like how Barry’s still going to die. “Hope’s what powers the Speed Force, you know.”

“Bullshit,” Wally blurted, but he’d perked up, almost grinning.

“I’m not kidding,” she said, lying out of her ass. “Ask Barry when he’s training you.”

“When he’s what??” “When I’m what?”

Shit. He’d snuck up on them. Barry Allen, the Fastest Man Alive. The love of her life – fated to die.

He misread her frown, and quickly changed course, “Of course I’m gonna train you. Max won’t do it, and I mean, you’ve seen me out there. I’m a little rough around the edges. I could use a sidekick. Right, Iris? You’ll love it, Wally. I’m a great teacher.” Iris hated to admit it, but he was cute when he rambled.

Wally’s jaw hung loose. “For real?”

“For real.” Barry twitched, “If Iris allows it.”

She nodded back. Just like that, Wally took off at super speed, cheering, “Hellyeah! Kidflashinthehouse!!”

Alone for the moment, Barry muttered to her, “When do I break it to him? I mean, I can’t really let him, uh, fight crime.”

“Just let him have this,” Iris said, watching Wally zoom down the hall. “We’ll figure something out.”

“Speaking of figuring something out…andtransitioningsortofawkwardly,” Barry stammered, “Do you wanna, uh—do you wanna get dinner sometime?”

Iris’ heart raced. Here it was: the turning point. If she said yes, they’d go down that path. Barry would die saving the world, and she’d be left alone with the twins. She could tell him, warn him…and for what? So he wouldn’t save lives, so he wouldn’t change them?

So he wouldn’t have one of his own?

One way or another, the clock would strike midnight, and their story would end. But at least they’d have that story. At least they’d have a shot.

“I’m sorry,” Barry blurted, blushing. “Now’s a totally inappropriate time, with everything going on, and—”

She kissed him. He squirmed for a moment, caught off guard. Then he relaxed into it and kissed her back. It was awkward, a bit tense, and oh-so-magical, not unlike her first kiss.

It was the first, she knew, of many to come.

Iris pulled back, and smiled – truly, honestly. “Friday, Papa Dio’s, 7pm sharp. Don’t be late.”

Barry chuckled nervously. “Uhh…”

“So help me god,” Iris sighed, shaking her head. “I’m going to have to get used to this, aren’t I?”

“Can we try again?” he asked.

She frowned, lost. “Try what again—”

Barry swept her off her feet, and pressed his lips to hers. Iris wrapped her arms around his neck, and lost herself in the moment. It was bliss. It was love. It was eternal, and fleeting…

“Eugh,” Wally gagged, back beside them. “Can we just go already? Pop-Pop’s probably pissing himself anxious.”

Barry laughed, but didn’t lower her to the ground. “Race ya there?”

Wally smirked. “Bring it, Flash.”

“Wait,” Iris interjected, realization dawning, “Wait, don’t—”

And they were off, two blurred lights in the darkness. Iris screamed, and held Barry tight. The wind roared in her ears, but somehow, someway she withstood it. She was safe in Barry’s arms.

It was terrifying and exhilarating and horribly disorienting and incredibly cool.

This was it. This was her future.

And she wouldn’t have it any other way.